The secrets of silence & smiles …

Here’s something that makes us smile ...

Did you know that research shows that if we put as much effort into building strong connections with people as the effort we put into our diet and exercise (the gyms, the equipment, the outfits, the diets, the vitamin supplements, the list goes on …) we may actually live longer…

In fact, studies show that the positive influence of social relationships on the risk of death are comparable with well-established risk factors for mortality such as smoking or alcohol consumption and exceed the influence of other risk factors, such as physical inactivity and even obesity (Holt-Lunstad, Smith, & Layton, 2010)

So, taking some time to focus on others, building our connections in genuine ways, may well be one of the most important ways of increasing our wellbeing

And yet, it’s one thing to understand the importance of social connections, but what if we don’t feel super confident in our ability to connect with people, our people skills? Where does that leave us?

To start you off, we would like to share a secret ...

Honestly, building stronger connections with people can often start with the simplest of things – we have 2 words for you – smiles and silence

Smiles and silence can give other people – as well as ourselves – a real boost – they are both free, yet ironically can both be scarce

We can all take a moment as we go through our day to smile at someone we think could benefit from a boost. Smiling costs us nothing, yet look around - how ironic that smiles can sometimes be so rarely abundant. We are often so busy, anxious and stressed as we race from task to task that we may unconsciously store our stash of smiles away, keeping them only for the people we already know and trust. Yet the benefit of sharing our smiles with others, at work, at home in our whole lives can bring a much needed warmth to all our lives

We love this quote from Dolly Parton...

 What an encouraging sentiment – we can all do this and make someone’s day

Now let’s think about silence and building our people connections. When we talk about silence, what we are really talking about is giving people that most highly valued and often rare social gem – attention. Really giving people high quality attention is about being present, not just being quiet, listening with the intent to understand. It is an active skill not a passive skill – it requires us to do something - to be mindful not mindless, to use the silence, to look outside not within, to think about the ‘other’

If we don’t slow down, still our mind, pause to focus on the ‘others’ we meet, we miss the opportunity to connect - to see when they need a smile - to see when they need a few more seconds of our attention. As a result, we steal from the potential relationship, everyone is less than they could have been, everyone is short-changed. Mindful communication requires our stillness, requires our attention, requires our thought, requires our focus and requires our energy

It's in the silence that we do this, it’s in the silence we spot what others need from us, what others need from the communication, so they can move forward, so we can all progress. Silence is something that gives us the chance to connect and build relationships rather than being something to avoid, or fill in

Silence isn’t empty, it’s full of answers!

To help you build stronger connections with people – from the new starter to the CEO – we have created an Upskill (our name for a course/masterclass) called People muscles – you can discover more about it here…

Our People muscles Upskill combines bite-sized videos, private podcasts, 121 Mentor sessions, bespoke Journals & purposeful self-reflection exercises for you to apply - at home, at work, in your whole life. Building People muscles focusses on communications and relationships - building your people strength, so you can excel and inspire - in every interaction, at every level - from the new starter to the CEO

You will build your ability to communicate mindfully not mindlessly, courageously not cowardly, present with purpose and poise, and perform, even excel in great teams so you build your interpersonal strength

Today think about how you can build stronger connections with people by giving the gifts of silence and your smile!

You can explore the People muscles Upskill HERE