Look for energy & hope in relationships!

Honestly, this is one of the trickiest things really – increasingly we are realising the importance of social connections – having strong relationships with people both at work and at home is a bigger indicator of overall health than any other factor

In fact, social connection can lower anxiety and depression, help us regulate our emotions, lead to higher self-esteem and empathy, and actually improve our immune systems. Studies show that the positive influence of social relationships on the risk of death are comparable with well-established risk factors for mortality such as smoking or alcohol consumption and exceed the influence of other risk factors,such as physical inactivity and even obesity (Holt-Lunstad, Smith, & Layton, 2010)

So, if we put as much effort into building strong connections with people as the effort we put into our diet and exercise (the gyms, the equipment, the outfits, the diets, the vitamin supplements, the list goes on …) we may actually live longer. How shocking is that!

So, in truth, by neglecting our need to connect - at work, at home, in our whole life - we may well be putting our health at risk

And yet, it’s one thing to understand the importance of social connections, but what if we don’t feel super confident in our ability to connect with people, our people skills? Where does that leave us?

The thing is often a lot of us are fine with basic communication - like how are you, how was your day - the simple back and forth of the easy every day orderly exchange with people we work with or live with. Yet it’s the more disorderly, discontented conversations with people either at work or at home which not only unsettle us but can also provide us with an ultimately closer bond – when we know how to deal with this more challenging social interaction. Ironically though, it’s often the very thought of a disorderly connection which means we are more likely to snuggle down in front of Netflix, than facetime a friend, or eat a sandwich in front of our screens rather than invite someone to share a lunch table at work

Having the ability and confidence to look for energy and hope in relationships which might be tricky or disordered is a phenomenal skill to have

So, to help you look for the energy and hope in your relationships today, here is some insight from Jo

When approaching talking to someone it’s worth keeping in mind that what’s amazing is that our brain is designed to literally fill in any gaps, it is primed to make sense of things, and completes things that are incomplete - All to provide some semblance of order, to make things clear and unambiguous

There is a downside to our brains natural predisposition to do this - the pieces our brain adds and fills in, to make things more meaningful, may be...

Wrong, inaccurate or skewed, because it does so without tasting the ingredients - it purely goes on memory

The message for us is to always assume we haven’t got the recipe quite right. Tasting and seeing how our communication lands with others is key – just like when we are baking a cake or cooking a dinner

If they find it too sweet, too salty, too bland, too spicy - that’s OK, that’s the energy & hope contained within great communication - how does it taste to them, what can be added, what will enhance the flavours? If we do this, we will always end up with a better result

Who knew how baking a cake could tell us so much about our brain & the art of communication! How about you spend a few minutes today tasting & seeing how your communication lands with others

To help you build stronger connections with people – from the new starter to the CEO – we have created an Upskill (our name for a course/masterclass) called People muscles – you can discover more about it here…