How to Choose Confidence, when we appear anxious or stressed

Do you often appear anxious or stressed? 

You aren’t alone - we are all aware of the increase in the number of people feeling anxious or stressed in today’s world

In the UK, the office of National statistics – reports that over 19 million people record high levels of anxiety (Ref1). A recent Gallup poll (Ref2) showed that the majority of American adults, 60%, now experience stress and worry on any given day. This is an increase of 14 percentage points between 2019 and 2020. In fact, the levels of people feeling anxious or stressed has now reached such high levels, that it is often called a ‘plague of stress’ – threatening to impact the majority of our lives

No great surprise that the main causes of this increase in stress and worry are our concerns about our physical and financial health, the pressures of required social isolation during the pandemic and the chaos for parents balancing work and childcare from our homes

The thing is, when we feel anxious and stressed, knowing the reasons why and knowing we are not alone - is sometimes small comfort

In truth, what we are really after is a solution

We know these feelings of stress and anxiety are not helpful. In fact, they are harmful to our bodies as well as our minds, to say nothing of the impact we have when we appear anxious and stressed on our friends and loved ones and frankly, also our credibility at work. But what can we actually do about it? Especially because some of the factors which are making us feel this way, may appear to be so far out of our control?

The good news is, that honestly (and surprisingly for some of us), there is actually a lot we can do about it 

Some of these things we may be vaguely aware of. For example, the importance of being active. We are not necessarily talking about some crazy intense fitness routine here, but we are talking about getting off our sofas and doing some kind of activity which we enjoy, ideally outside

Together with looking after our physical health; being active, eating and drinking healthily and avoiding unhealthy habits like drinking or smoking too much, some of the keys to good stress management, according to Professor Cary Cooper, an occupational health expert at the University of Lancaster, are these 4 things. Firstly, building emotional strength, secondly, being in control of our situation, thirdly, having a good social network and fourthly, adopting a positive outlook. When we look at these four elements, some of these can be summarized as building and strengthening a feeling of confidence

When we are confident, we have a feeling of trust in our own abilities, qualities and judgement - we have good morale, are self-assured, believe in ourselves, are positive, composed and feel capable

When we are confident, not only do we increase our belief in ourselves and our ability to cope with any given situation, we also increase other people’s belief in us, in our home, work and whole life. Confidence is attractive, it brings success, helps us to connect better with others and we generally feel happier.  As Michelle Obama said,

“Whether you come from a council estate or a country estate, your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude”

So, when we realise that Choosing Confidence is the opposite of feeling overwhelmed and appearing anxious or stressed and we also realise that our success and ability to unlock our unique potential is determined by our confidence, how do we start choosing to be confident?  

We know about the importance of building our physical health, such as being active, and improving our diet and sleep habits. We know about hydration, journaling, gratitudes and meditation - what else is there?

The journey starts with first becoming aware that we can, in fact, take control and choose to be confident

Seems simple yet this may well be the biggest mind-set shift which can take us from feeling anxious and stressed, to taking control and achieving our unique potential - confidence is a choice

Second, is the incredibly powerful realisation that we can move forwards from feelings of anxiety and worry, to feelings of capability and confidence by swapping perfection for progress

Swapping perfection for progress means we aim for progress, not perfection

Even the smallest steps of progress move us forwards. And progress is addictive - these steps of progress give us an addictive dopamine hit of achievement and momentum. Whenever we recognise our progress, our brain releases a load of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is responsible for generating feelings of accomplishment, satisfaction and happiness. This inspires us to take the next small step forwards

Small steps of progress, sparking confidence with each new step

This is what we call being progressfull - by swapping perfection for progress we start to let go of feelings of anxiety and stress so we can focus our time and energy in the best small steps forwards, spending our lives doing the things which make us truly happy and achieving our potential

Being progressfull helps us to step by step, Choose Confidence - to start trusting our abilities, our qualities and our judgement. When we Choose Confidence we become self-reliant, positive and purposeful. We allow ourselves to be poised, self-assured and assertive. Living our own, unique best lives, making our own, unique best contributions at home, at work, in our whole life

Because we saw that so many people can benefit from living a life of progress, not perfection, we set up a company called Progressfull™

We combine my experience of over 20 years of working with some of the most brilliant minds in innovation and communication, winning awards, growing businesses and inspiring teams, with my co-founder Jo's skills as a highly experienced CEO level executive coach, learning architect and facilitator

Over the last 25 years Jo has worked closely with global high performers and their teams, sharing tools and concepts to help them gain a truly competitive edge and has developed a wealth and breadth of experience designing and delivering truly effective, bespoke training tools and programmes to help them grow themselves, their teams and their businesses

We understand you want to continually learn and progress in life, that you don't want psychobabble or unrealistic 'positive thinking', so we focus on outcomes and results.  We have simply packaged our lived experience and learning into sparky deep insights, simple practical frameworks and handy transforming tools. For everybody to use in the real world

In reality all the answers to the questions of how to progress and live a better life already exist out there in some way, from the wisdom of the Ancient Greeks to the latest findings from the world of Neuroscience. But even if we are aware of these ideas and concepts, very few of us have the toolkit to actually apply them in our everyday lives, from home, to work, to our whole life. 

So, we decided to create it! 

We share sparky deep insights, simple practical frameworks and handy transforming tools, including tools for purposeful self -reflection, usually only accessible for high performance executives. Making these available for everybody to use in the real world.  So, you can quite literally, Choose Confidence and take your personal progress into your own hands

An experience with us takes you from feeling overwhelmed and unfulfilled to inspired, energised and on track.  Our passion is to help you unlock your personal progress – helping life work for you not against you – from home, to work, to your whole life

Progressfull™ helps you access the ability to live a life full of progress and an important principle of living a life of progress is Choosing Confidence

We have an Upskill, (our word for a course/masterclass), which can help you Choose Confidence. Choosing Confidence includes video and exercises designed to help you unlock your ability to Choose Confidence, even when the going gets tough - you can learn more about it here

Choosing Confidence is not easy, but it is worth it. You have just one life, so gain self-assurance, poise and confidence, trust yourself and know you are enough - be a first-rate version of yourself

As Marie Curie so wisely said,

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained”

Discover more about Choosing Confidence here

Ref 1: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/

coronavirusandanxietygreatbritain/3april2020to10may2020

Ref 2: https://news.gallup.com/poll/308276/life-ratings-plummet-year-low.aspx

Ref 3: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/reduce-stress/