Get into the driving seat of your own life!

Look around and you will see that a lot of us feel overwhelmed and unfulfilled. We live each day with an uncomfortable feeling that we don’t really know why we are here, how to spend our time and what really makes us tick

What’s more, so many of us live like this that for a lot of us, we actually think this is ‘normal’. So, to get rid of the uncomfortable feelings of feeling overwhelmed, unfulfilled and that we may be ‘not doing life right’ – we develop the behaviours and habits of self-soothing with shopping, alcohol, drugs, sugar, social media, and even expensive holidays to ‘escape’ our day-to-day life

We don’t love this behaviour, yet we feel OK about our habits because we look around and see that’s what everyone else is doing – so we are normal

The thing is, honestly is normal really good enough for your one and precious life?

Who even invented ‘normal’ – did they really know what would make you, yes you, happy? Frankly, we know enough now that the shareholders of the companies, the drug lords, the social media tycoons, don’t really have our best interests at heart – yet why do we give them so much of our time and money – especially when a lot of what they sell us may be seriously damaging our health and shortening our life, and let’s face it - after the short term lift, we go back to feeling overwhelmed and unfulfilled – so we do it all again?

What to do, what to do?

There is so much talk today about ‘how to be happy’ and once we have got past the ‘get rich quick schemes’ a lot of it seems to come down to ‘know your purpose’ and ‘live in the present’. But if you are like me, the thing you may ask yourself is – OK, but how on earth do I do that?

For some of us, this is as far as it goes – we put this into the ‘nice idea but too difficult to be bothered category’ and get on with our unfortunate, overwhelmed, and unfulfilled ‘normal’ lives. For others, we may be a bit more determined, or a bit more fed up, so we might try a bit harder, maybe listen to a few podcasts, watch a few videos, and even go on a retreat

Well, stop right there – there is a concept which can help you here

Essentially it is all about finding out what makes you tick so you can live more in the present and make the most of each day and as your grandmother would say, developing your ‘character’ so you are able to stand on your own two feet. It is called Owning Congruence

Owning Congruence is about living our life in accordance with our beliefs and values, day by day, moment by moment, being in the driving seat of our own life. Stopping passively handing our money and time over to the shareholders, the social media tycoons, the drug lords and media owners, and starting to take control of who and how we want to be

What’s more, a driving seat doesn’t have to be in a Ferrari to be amazing!

When we own congruence, it is living our life now in the present … being in the driving seat of our own life

Owning Congruence means we stop being a passenger, jump into the driver’s seat of our own lives and stay in the present. It’s about releasing the clutch and giving ourselves permission to choose our way, manage our behaviour, our thoughts, our feelings, choose to control how we respond and do the right thing for us

Here’s a tip to help you jump into the driver’s seat of our own lives and stay in the present

Spend time building your ability to connect with the current moment, the present, and disconnect from the past or future. “If you were to check your mind at any point in the day, you’d probably notice you’re thinking about the past or worrying about something in the future, catastrophizing the worst-case scenario,” says Diana Winston, director of mindfulness education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center

Research confirms that dwelling on things in the rearview mirror or stressing about what’s around the bend, are linked to feelings of overwhelm and unfulfillment which in turn may lead to depression and anxiety

The more we can remain in the present, stay in the driving seat of our life, rather than looking back at what we have lost or ‘what might have been’ or looking forward at ‘what could happen’ helps us stay grounded in reality, driving here and now. It helps us feel in synch with ourselves, in synch with reality, and as a result our mind becomes more calm, more balanced, and we develop more self-respect

Owning Congruence is about owning our reality, today, now, in the present, in-spite of what might be happening around us. And it’s not easy, it’s not intuitive, it takes effort to hold on to the present – yet it's better to live in reality than fiction

You will be surprised at how slowly but surely you can build your ability to stay in the driving seat of your own life by staying in the present, experiencing the moment and choosing how to be. That is living a life of congruence – some might say it’s also building character

Jumping into the driving seat of our own life, and staying in the present, is a great way to think of how we build character. Character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny"

If you would like to discover more about how you can Own Congruence we have an Upskill (our name for a course/masterclass) to help you do just that – you can learn more about it here